what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
someone owes me an orgasm
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
