Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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