this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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