You just made me feel so damn special
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
