Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
