Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
