LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
