Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
