She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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