How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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