We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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