my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
