he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
