He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
