just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
