bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
