i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
