tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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