Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
is wine microwaveable?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
