oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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