After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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