just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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