I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
