So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
