So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's never too late to be topless.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
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