i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
