Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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