Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think my vagina is haunted
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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