I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
