There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
