I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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