FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
