does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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