We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
