Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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