but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
All the doctor said was why
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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