He uses pillows to masturbate.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
