Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
