i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
