ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The air was thick with penises
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
