She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
