wat bout pragnant strippers??
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
