she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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