I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
