just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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