3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
