Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
