READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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