I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
