Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Four minutes until I can fart!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
